Annoying the Akatsuki
by ShockValueAuthor
Summary: A simple list of things to do to agitate our beloved terrorists, the Akatsuki. Rated T for some suggestiveness, but that's about it. Review and enjoy!


How to annoy Itachi

While he's sleeping, attack his face with a magic eraser and try to get rid of the lines.

Call him 'Weasel' behind his back.

Ask him if he's really going blind (repeatedly).

Tell him he's loved in the Yaoi world, especially when paired with his brother (and show him pictures to prove it).

Steal his eyeliner (I'm sure he has some).

Send him a Thank You card signed by Uchiha Madara.

Let him sign a blank card, then mail it to Sasuke after writing something completely SUGGESTIVE.

Buy him a seeing-eye dog, but make it a poodle.

How to annoy Kisame

Introduce him to your friend who is well known for making shark fin soup.

Give him Goldfish crackers instead of fish.

Secretly tape him in the shower and send it to Itachi.

Hide his Samehada and let Tobi guard it.

Take him to the aquarium for a 'family reunion'.

Tie him down and force him to listen to you read 'Finding Nemo'.

Tell him that you have proof of him dancing to 'The Little Mermaid' (that'll scare him SHITLESS).

Constantly yell, "Shamu misses you!" when he brings up something about his past.

How to annoy Deidara

Ask him if those hands are good for OTHER ACTIVITIES.

Tell Tobi to follow him all day.

Braid his hair while he sleeps.

Ask him if his name is unisex.

Replace his clay with Playdoh (make it pink).

Tell him Sasori's art is better.

Tell him that Itachi thinks he's cute (that'll probably scare him).

Put chewing gum in your hand and let his hand-mouth eat it, so when it bubbles up, his hands will stick together.

How to annoy Sasori

Replace his poisons with Kool-Aid.

Make him late for something (anything will tick him off).

Call him 'Ginger'.

Ask him if he's ever made a puppet into a stripper for himself.

Tell him you know where he keeps his naughty pictures of Deidara.

Invite his grandmother over.

Die his hair pink (or some other color).

Get Tobi to help with any of the above.

HOW TO ANNOY DEIDARA AND SASORI:

-GIVE TOBI CRACK TO MAKE HIM MORE HYPER-

How to annoy Tobi

Tell him he's not a good boy.

Keep asking him what flavor of lollipop he is.

Tie his feet together so he can't skip.

Lock him in a room full of kids and tell them he's a lollipop.

Hide his mask.

Give him pigtails with pretty bows.

Let bugs loose in his room.

Sing the 'Lollipop Song' every time he walks into a room.

How to annoy Konan

Ask her if she stuffs her bra with paper.

Tell her people think she's a whore.

Pet her hair.

Give her toilet paper instead of regular and tell her to make something out of it.

Hide her paper flower.

Tell her that Pein has another girlfriend.

Ask if she's ever done any FAVORS for the Akatsuki.

Hide her hair gel.

How to annoy Pein

Ask if he's ever going to marry Konan.

Tell him you're a better God than he is.

Keep poking him until you're sure you've found every single piercing he has.

Ask him if he made all those copies of himself because Konan won't 'put out'.

Sing, 'Raindrops Are Falling On My Head' when you're around him.

Give him a therapist's number, telling him to get his 'inferiority complex' checked out.

Get Konan to strip for him, then run in and say that his other girlfriend is here to talk to him.

Ask if he's compromising for something, since he has so many piercings.

How to annoy Zetsu

Ask if he's ever had a traumatic experience with a weed whacker, and if that's why he's got a split personality.

Watch and see if he flirts with regular plants.

Get Tobi to give him a haircut.

Call him 'Aloe'.

Ask if he's related to marijuana, and if he's the reason why Itachi looks drugged all the time.

Stare at him while he eats.

Tell him that the gardening magazines underneath his bed are perverted.

Take him to a gardening store, and leave him when they do the demonstrations on how to kill weeds.

How to annoy Hidan

Oil up his scythe so it slips every time he tries to grab it.

Make a loud beeping sound when he curses.

Hide Bibles everywhere in his room.

Yell, 'The power of Christ compels you!' when he pisses you off.

Slip Holy Water into his drinks.

Introduce him to Twilight.

Tell him Draco Malfoy stole his hairstyle.

Take him to Hot Topic and tell him that this is where his kind of people shop. If he asks what kind, say emo people.

How to annoy Kakuzu

Give him a fake winning lottery ticket.

Let Tobi manage his money for the day.

Harass him about his temper.

Call him an 'old geezer' behind his back.

Boast about how you just got your paycheck in front of him.

Pretend he's a puppet and pull on all his threads.

Tell him you've got a heart for him, and give him a candy one instead.

Tell him they stopped making money forever.

That's all people! Hope you liked my version of 'Annoying the Akatsuki'. My thanks to KiwiIchimaru for the inspiration. (Though please note that I used my own original ideas).

SVA


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